


Hurts So Good

by preciousbunnynoiz



Series: BDSM!!! on Ice! [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aftercare, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, BDSM, Communication, Dom/sub, Established Relationship, Kink Negotiation, Light Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Safe Sane and Consensual, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 03:03:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11152899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousbunnynoiz/pseuds/preciousbunnynoiz
Summary: Yuuri's anxiety is at critical but he knows exactly what he needs to make it shut up and Victor is happy to oblige





	Hurts So Good

It had been a bad day.

Yuuri kept flubbing landings, even his step sequences and spins had been off. Yurio had yelled at him. Yakov had yelled at everyone. Victor had sent Yuuri to go dance and even that had gone wrong.

All because his head wouldn’t shut up.

_“I’m letting everyone down”_

_“Victor will ask me to leave”_

_“I still don’t know how to order my coffee because the lady at the shop doesn’t understand my accent because I’m too stupid to say it right”_

_“What if Makkachin gets sick?”_

_“What if Victor gets tired of me?”_

_“What if Japan disowns me?”_

_“What if everyone secretly hates me?”_

_“What if Victor secretly hates me?”_

_“What if…what if…what if…”_

Yuuri had gone home with the worries moving from actual thoughts to just a buzz of anxious static in his head. He wasn’t even sure what he was worried about anymore but his mouth felt dry and his skin too tight and he couldn’t concentrate on anything.

He showered then wandered around the apartment unable to sit still, phone in hand flitting from one app to another but not really seeing any of them.

He heard the front door open and Victor calling out his name above the noise in his head and turned, homing in on the presence of his fiancé.

Once he laid eyes on Victor, his expression both fond and worried, he realised what he needed.

He crossed the room and knelt at Victor’s feet.

“Victor… **Sir** I need you to hurt me” he said firmly, mildly surprised at the steadiness of his voice.  Victor’s eyes widened and he sucked in a breath a frown on his perfect mouth.

“If this is as punishment…” Victor began disapproval clear in his voice but stopped as Yuuri violently shook his head.

“No Sir. I just…my head is too loud and I need this to shut my anxiety up” he looked up pleadingly at his lover, his fiancé and his master. The person he trusted most in the world.

“I need this Victor. I need it so bad” he whispered.

Victor’s expression softened and he reached down a hand to stroke Yuuri’s cheek who purred and leaned into the touch.

“Okay love, how do you want me to hurt you?” he asked.

Yuuri thought about it. They had experimented with a few things. Neither was big into pain usually but they had done a little slapping and spanking as well as choking. Enough to Yuuri to have a good idea of what he liked and what he didn’t.

“Can you spank me? But I need it hard. Harder than we have before. Please Sir.” He leaned against Victor’s thigh, blushing hard as he asked for this. Victor pet his hair gently.

“Okay, anything else?”

Yuuri hid his face against Victor’s thigh. He did have something else, something he’d been afraid to ask for.

“Can you…can you pinch my nipples?” he whispered.

“Of course my love. I’m also guessing no calling you names.” Victor continued to pet his head gently. Yuuri nodded, the last thing he needed today was to be degraded even though he usually wanted that.

They moved to the bedroom and Yuuri undressed while Victor took a quick shower in the en-suite. He then dressed in in a white button down with the sleeves rolled up nice dress slacks. That…helped actually. Especially with Yuuri naked and on his knees again.

Victor sat on the end of the bed and motioned for Yuuri to lay across his lap. The static was still there but already quieter than before. Submission helped. He wasn’t required to think like this. He just had to exist and Victor would do his thinking for him.

“As always yellow to pause and red to stop. This isn’t a punishment, this is a reward so don’t be afraid to ask for it how you want it” Victor told him as he smoothed his hands over Yuuri’s ass, being careful of the bruises that already littered his hips.

“Yes Sir” Yuuri said closing his eyes and pressing his cheek into the soft bedding.

The first hit made him cry out. It was good, but it wasn’t hard enough.

“Please Sir, harder. Much harder” he gasped after two more hits.

There was a pause before a hand came down just like Yuuri wanted. Yuuri moaned, he was dimly aware that he was getting hard but the sting of each hit followed by a warm soothing hand was quickly taking him further and further away from the static in his head. But he needed more.

“Please sir please sir I need…I need” he was rocking back and forth in Victor’s lap at he was spanked moaning and panting at each hit.

Victor stopped hitting him, rubbing a soothing hand over Yuuri’s red ass.

“What do you need love? I’ll give it to you”

Yuuri rocked back and forth a few more times trying to figure out how speech works again.

“I need…on my front…I need” he gave a hiccupping little sob and wondered when he started to cry.

“Shhhh, it’s okay it’s okay. Let’s turn you over.” Victor gently moved him so he was laying in the middle of the bed, the soft bedding gentle against his ass. Victor’s hands gently moved his legs so that his knees were bent and his thighs open and flat against the bed.

He gently massaged the inside of Yuuri’s thighs before landing two sharp hits, one to each thigh. Yuuri cried loudly, his back arching in pain and pleasure.

Victor hit him a few more times, the buzz and static was long forgotten and Yuuri felt he was close to something else. That floaty space where he only got on very rare occasions. He needed it so bad. He just needed something more.

He felt Victor’s hands slide up his thighs, up his hips and towards his chest. He opened his eyes, blinking past the tears as Victor’s hands reached his nipples. They locked eyes as Victor pinched his nipples _hard._

Yuuri screamed and felt that last thing tethering him to the earth break and he was floating. Away from his anxieties, away from his body and sensation. He was in that place where he just existed.

Existed for Victor.

As Victor’s.

He wasn’t Yuuri he was just Victor’s and it was peaceful and beautiful.

He suddenly let go of all tension, his body becoming soft and pliant as smile of pure bliss spread across his face.

He wasn’t aware Victor had closed his fist around Yuuri’s cock and stroked him to completion. He wasn’t aware of anything but intense pleasure and happiness.

He hummed when he realised Victor was talking to him but unable to even comprehend what was being asked of him.

Victor kept talking to him though and he came to bit as Victor picked him up bridal style and again when he was placed gently into a pleasantly hot bath.

A warm mug was pushed into his hands, Victor’s hands closing around his to help him hold the mug before Victor helped him bring it to his lips. Three mouthfuls later and he was finally coming out of that floaty space gently. He was lying in the bath with Victor at his back. A warm, comforting presence.

The horrible static and the what ifs of his anxiety were quiet. As he came back to himself the anxiety stayed away and some of the peaceful happiness stayed with him. Enough that he felt sated and fulfilled.

He drank some more of the herbal tea in his hands before turning slightly to kiss Victor’s cheek.

“Thank you” he murmured, his voice rough from yelling. Victor hugged him gently.

“You’re very welcome love. Did it help?” Yuuri nodded, “Good. Though I don’t think this is a good solution for every time your anxiety acts up” Victor’s voice was teasing and Yuuri smiled.

“I know. I should have probably taken an emergency anxiety pill” Yuuri sighed.

“Probably” Victor agreed pleasantly, “but it’s easy to misjudge how bad it’s going to get. I’m just glad I could help.”  Yuuri hummed in agreement.

He didn’t take regular anxiety medication but he had Xanax for when it really extreme. The main problem with it is that it made him incredibly sleepy and dangerously dopey for the rest of the day. He couldn’t practice on it at all and by the time he realised today that he should have taken one he’d worked himself into such a state that he’d have had to take two which he found just made him extremely anxious and only partly conscious at the same time which was a bad combination.

Having Victor hurt him so good was a much better emergency solution for today but Victor was right it wasn’t an everyday solution. They’d work together to come up with a better one and maybe they could still do this sometimes.

They relaxed for a bit more in the bath as Yuuri finished his tea and then Victor helped him out of the bath, dried him off, carried him back to the bed room and lay him on his stomach to rub some ointment onto his slightly sore ass before massaging his legs and tendng to his new bruises from practice with ointment as well. Then Victor kissed his back, sat him up and dressed him in his softest and most favourite pyjamas before tucking him into bed.

Yuuri didn’t fall asleep, he lay there reading a book while Victor got dinner.

Victor brought their dinner to bed, propping Yuuri up in a veritable cloud of pillows before laying a tray across his lap and joining him on the bed.

They ate, Victor cleaned up and then joined Yuuri in bed for cuddles and kisses before Yuuri finally fell asleep against Victor, a smile on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Couple of things:
> 
> 1\. Both of them realise that this isn't a way to fix or regularly deal with Yuuri's anxiety but it was what he needed to get him out of his head at the moment. I actually do this from time to time. I'm like Yuuri not super into pain but sometimes I need it like this. But again I don't use it as a treatment for anxiety just as a very occasional thing because sometimes it's the only thing that helps.
> 
> 2\. Victor didn't get off because this wasn't about him at all this was about what Yuuri needed at that moment and servicing him as his Dom
> 
> 3\. Victor was concerned at first that Yuuri was going to try to use their bdsm dynamic to punish himself for messing up at practice and would not have engaged with this if that was the case. Luckily it was really clear by Yuuri's response that it wasn't the case.
> 
> 4\. Victor didn't realise that Yuuri was so bad when he sent him to dance rather than skate because usually dancing helps ground him when skating doesn't and he wasn't with Yuuri while he was dancing and didn't see it getting worse.


End file.
